The Legend of Zelda: Link's Altered Adventure
by WaffleGod
Summary: 5th chapter! OoT novelization, with slight changes. Mucho wackiness!
1. The Adventure Begins

1.1 The Legend of Zelda: Link's Slightly Altered Adventure  
  
2 Disclaimer: Same old stuff. I don't own anything, blah blah blah. I'm so poor v.v  
  
This is basically a novelization of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, only Link is paired with something far stranger than Navi. Kirby =D (Kind of a self-insertion, but not really). Complete with Monty Python spoof! Enjoy, chapter 2 will be up eventually ^_^  
  
  
  
Chapter 1: The Kokiri  
  
  
  
It was a beautiful day in the Kokiri Forest this lovely Sunday morning. Too bad Link wasn't awake to enjoy it, the lazy bum. It started like every other day. The kokiri were wandering around aimlessly, Saria was thinking of how best to stalk our hero, and Mido was throwing rocks at Link's house. The usual. What was unusual however, was that Mido had managed to throw a rock through Link's window, and capped him in the eye.  
  
"Ouch!" Link exlaimed, falling out of bed. "What just hit me?"  
  
In an attempt to find out, Link slowly tip-toed to the front door, opened it, and peeked outside. Running towards the house was a short green- haired kokiri, wearing a green shirt and green boots. Since all kokiri wore green and never bothered to change, it was safe to assume that they all wore the same clothing for their entire lifespan. The girl was waving frantically, as if trying to get Link's attention. He recognized the girl. She was the single most irritating creature he had ever encountered. A demon so foul, so horrid, that anyone who heard the shriek of her voice would cower in terror.  
  
Saria.  
  
Link had grown used to the stalking, but not the voice. No one could adjust to the voice. The voice of doom. Dashing back inside and bolting the door, Link's heart began to race. He had little time before Saria reached his home, and he didn't want to speak to her. Again. "That voice of hers makes my ears bleed!" he said to himself. Needing a plan of escape, he spied the shattered window. Beginning to hear Saria's footsteps approaching, he knew he had no more time to waste. Quickly noticing the rock on the floor which happened to have a note attached to it, Link grabbed it and ran for the window. He leapt, and scraped his arm on the way, and read the note as he fell.  
  
"The Deku Tree wants to see you. But I'm cooler than you. It should see me!  
  
~Mido"  
  
"Oh crap." Link thought. "Now the stupid tree wants to see me. Oh well. Might as well go see it". And so, after landing from the 4' fall, Link ran to the east to the "Path To The Deku Tree". Unfortunately, the path was blocked by the gay homophobe Mido.  
  
"None shall pass!" Mido declared, crossing his arms like the gay homo he was. Link was unphased by the statement. He retorted with his own.  
  
"I am Link. The annoying kid you always throw rocks at every morning. I command you to stand aside" He spoke in an unwavering, commanding tone.  
  
"I move….for no man." Mido's tone was dull, and boring. And gay. Just like him.  
  
Link was infuriated. He'd had enough of Mido's crap.  
  
"I've had enough of your crap!" And so Link belted Mido in the stomach as hard as he could, and continued on. The path to the tree was long and perilous, filled with grass and fungi. And annoying little blue things that popped up and didn't do anything. Unarmed, Link had to run for it. And run he did! Look at that little green freak run! At last, after several minutes of running, Link reached the clearing where the Deku Tree lived. Towering over him was a massive block of wood with a face on it. It looked like it was about to topple over. Suddenly, the face spoke. It spoke in a loud, booming voice that anyone within a 20 mile radius could hear.  
  
"COME HITHER, CHILD OF THE FOREST."  
  
Scared witless, Link complied. "Y-yes, oh mighty tree thing?"  
  
"YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN. BY ME. TO UNDERTAKE A QUEST AND SAVE THE WORLD FROM A GREAT EVIL. BUT FIRST YOU MUST CRAWL INSIDE ME AND RID ME OF A PARASITIC FREAKY THING SO THAT I CAN TELL YOU SOME COOL STUFF."  
  
"Joy. Don't I get anything to help?"  
  
"YES. HERE'S A GAY SWORD AND A SHIELD MADE OF MY SNOT." Magically, a sword and wood shield appeared in Link's hands. "YOU ALSO GET THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT IT SCARES ME AND I NEED TO GET RID OF IT." A swirling ball of golden light appeared, hovering a few feet in front of Link.The sphere slowly lowered itself onto the ground at our hero's feet, and stopped glowing. Beneath the now non-existent glow was a black sphere. The sphere began to crack, and white light emerged from the openings. Several seconds later, the sphere burst in a blinding white flash. Link was forced to shield his eyes for fear of being…well, blinded. What else can a blinding white flash do? When the light subsided, a round, pink creature was standing at Link's feet.  
  
Pink. PINK.  
  
Link didn't know what it was. No one did. Not even the Deku Tree. Link stared at it, his blue eyes shimmering in the light. The creature stared back with it's black, beady little eyes. As if on cue, it started running around in small circles. It's tiny brown shoes made a soft pat-pat sound as it ran. At least, Link thought they were its shoes. Link was a moron when it came to things like this. He failed Kokiri Biology. He thought for a few minutes about the creature's feet/shoes, not noticing it had stopped running until it stared at him, flailed its short, stubby, fingerless arms rapidly, and emitted a most horrid scream.  
  
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Link nearly toppled over at the sound. It wasn't nearly as bad as Saria, and was somewhat soothing, but the shock nearly killed him. It spoke again.  
  
"I'm Kirby! The big tree thingy says I'm supposed to help you on your quest thing! Can I hug you? Please? Pretty please? You're so huggable and I wanna hug something socanIhugyoupleaseIreallywannahugsomethingandyou'resoclosesocanIhugyou???"  
  
Without waiting for an answer, the tiny pink creature that called itself "Kirby" jumped onto Link's face, and hugged him. Link nearly suffocated before pulling the creature off himself.  
  
"Um…k." was all Link could say.  
  
"SO BE IT. YOU'RE NOW ALL PREPPED AND STUFF. NOW ENTER THE VOID OF MY STOMACH AND KILL THE DEMONS WITHIN!" The Deku Tree spoke softly. Well, softer than usual, at least. And it opened its mouth, beckoning Link and Kirby into the abyss.  
  
  
  
~*End of Chaper 1*~  
  
So whadja think? Read and review please ^^ (A few ideas for future chapters wouldn't hurt, either) 


	2. Dead Trees and Funky Triangles

(^_^) (^_^) (^_^)  
  
1 Chapter 2: Dead Trees and Funky Triangles  
  
Usual disclaimer, blah blah blah. Now on with the show! Not as good as chapter 1, because nothing interesting actually happens in this part of the game.  
  
  
  
The insides of the Deku Tree weren't very pretty. Much like the outside. And much like Mido. Mido was gay. But anyway. Passing through the first few rooms of the "dungeon" were simple. For Kirby, at least. Link hacked and slashed and swiped at the various plant-like growths and other atrocities, while Kirby merely sat on his shoulder and chewed on his hat.  
  
"Hats are yummy!" Kirby gleefully shouted while tearing off another piece of Link's hat. Pretty soon he'll have to buy a new one from wherever it is the Kokiri get the only article(s) of clothing they'll ever wear. Anywho. During their travels through the tree, Link a very strange, very ancient artifact. Something that could not possibly exist. He found a weapon. A weapon of such incredible magnitude, that all would cower in fear of its awesomeness. The mere sight of this item would send chills down the spine of even the mightiest of demons.  
  
In other words, he found the slingshot.  
  
Unfortunately, his supply of ammunition was rather low, as Kirby would often times eat whatever he found. And so, after much adventuring, the Jolly Green Midget and his sidekick, the Puffy Ping-Pong Ball, reached a large spooky door. "It's scary! Scary scary scaaaary!" Kirby squealed, hiding under Link's hat.  
  
"Relax, puffy. It's just a big spooky door where the boss of this dungeon resides. We'll just barge in, whack him a few times, and then run out!" replied Link, reassuringly.  
  
"…ooookaaaay".  
  
And thus, they proceeded through the door. Nothing could have prepared them for what lay ahead. Why? Because whatever was ahead was already dead . Queen Gohma, the spider who looked more like a hand, had been killed. It's body was covered in what looked like hydrochloric acid, large patches of its flesh burned away.  
  
"What could have done this…?" pondered our hero, when out of the blue, the tree's body shook wildly, as a gaseous scent filled the chamber.  
  
*Burp*  
  
It would seem as if the Deku Tree had managed to digest the parasite. "Whee! That was fun! Fun fun fun silly willy! Make the cave shake again! WHOO!". Kirby found the shaking amusing. Of course, he found everything amusing. But that's besides the point. Utterly infuriated at having wasted his time, Link dragged Kirby back outside.  
  
"Why the hell did you make us go down there when you could have easily killed it yourself like you just did!?!?!?!?!" Link shouted, furious at the tree.  
  
"SIMPLE. SO YOU COULD GET THE SLINGSHOT, SILLY! AND NOW, AS I PROMISED, I WILL TELL YOU NEAT STUFF. A LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY…OOPS. WRONG SERIES. MANY EONS AGO, THREE GODDESSES TRAVELED ABOUT, CREATING THE LAND OF HYRULE. DIN, NAYRU, AND FARORE, THEIR NAMES WERE. I FORGET WHAT EACH OF THEM DID, BUT THEY MADE THIS LAND. AND WHEN THEY LEFT, THEY LEFT A MARK OF THEIR POWER BEHIND. THIS MARK, IS THE TRIFORCE. HOLDING DIVINE POWER, IT CAN BE THE MOST DANGEROUS FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE SHOULD IT FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS."  
  
"So what does this have to do with me?"  
  
"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. BUT SOME WEIRDO WHO DESPERATELY NEEDS A NOSE-JOB IS TRYING TO STEAL IT. AND YOU SHOULD STOP HIM. PLUS, IF YOU GO ON THIS LITTLE JOURNEY YOU WON'T HAVE TO SEE SARIA FOR SEVEN YEARS!"  
  
"Speak no more, oh woody one. If I don't have to see Saria, I'm game!"  
  
"I KNEW THOU WOULDS'T ACCEPT. I GIVE THEE THE KOKIRI'S EMERALD, A PRETTY GREEN GEM THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE USE OF IS. NOW YOU MUST GO TO HYRULE CASTLE AND SPEAK WITH PRINCESS ZELDA. FAREWELL!" And then, the Deku Tree died. Boo-freakin'-hoo. Stupid tree. Someone should chop that thing down and use it as firewood or something. Ecstatic over the fact that he wouldn't have to see Saria for another 7 years, he began his long trek to Hyrule Castle to visit Princess Samael……er…..Zelda. Yeah. That's right. 


	3. Devil Bird

1 Chapter 3: Devil Bird  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the cast, never have, and never will.  
  
Where we last left off, Link has just received his "quest" from the Deku Tree.  
  
  
  
It was a beautiful day in the Kokiri Forest. And no one cared. Because everyone was off crying over the death of that good-for-nothing Deku Tree. Stupid thing. Sure, it kept the Kokiri alive. But so did food. Anyways. Link, the only joyous one, was approaching the exit of the Forest, dragging his little pink buddy along with him. The way out of the Forest was dark and spooky. No Kokiri had ever left successfully. But Link would. For he had a sword! So, he left. And on his way across the bridge, something hit him. Not an idea. He was physically hit in the back of the head by a flying object. Turning around to see what it was, he found Kirby chewing on it.  
  
"Wow! It's a clay thingamabob!" Link exclaimed. He had always wanted a thingamabob.  
  
Kirby said nothing, but sucked on the object as if it were a pacifier.  
  
Upon further examination, Link discovered that the object was a musical instrument. But he didn't know that it was an ocarina. So, it shall be referred to as the Clay Thingamabob. Raising his hands above his head and striking a "I'm a friggin' evil person and I'm gonna rule the world now!" pose, the Clay Thingamabob rose above Link, and slowly rotated counter-clockwise. The item-acquiring tune that is so familiar to us gamers began playing, and a dark-blue textbox appeared in front of Link with the words "You got the Clay Thingamabob!" inscribed in it. Then the Thingamabob disappeared. After that little incident, the not-so-dynamic duo headed out of the Forest. At last. Nothing could have prepared Link for what lay outside.  
  
"GAH! OH MY GOD! THE LIGHT! IT BUUUUURRRRRRNNNNNNNSSSSSS!!!!!"  
  
Link had never been out in daylight before. The Forest foliage had always covered the sky, letting very little light down. Shrieking like a vampiric schoolgirl, Link ran back into the bridge area and cried for several hours before setting foot outside again. This time, the light didn't burn. Kirby didn't seem to mind either way. Passing a few trees, Link was getting quite relieved to be outside. Until the noise. "Hoot. Hoot." It went. "Hoot. Hoot." The clockwork noise was maddening. Looking up, Link spotted an owl. "Hello, my friend! I am Kaepora Gaebora! And I will help you on your-"  
  
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! IT'S A DEMONIC TALKING OWL!"  
  
Brandishing his slingshot with untold fury, Link took aim at the owl, knocked it out of the tree it was perched on, grabbed Kirby, and ran like the wind. That kid can run pretty dang fast, ya know. A few minutes later, our heroes arrived at the Hyrule Marketplace. From here, it was only a short hike to Hyrule Castle, and the princess. But first, he had to aimlessly wander around town. And beat the cuccos. A cucco was a small chicken-like animal. It had white feathers, and a red crest on its head. However, unlike a chicken, if you beat a cucco repeatedly it would summon its demonic brethren, and they would savagely assault you until you were dead. Link enjoyed that.  
  
Spotting a healthy, plum cucco, Link began his assault. He hurled the fowl into boxes, through windows, and bashed it with various blunt objects. And then the cucco retaliated. Glowing red with unholy light, the area around the enraged creature seemed to melt into nothingness. The intense energy radiated by the cucco knocked Link back several feet, through a door into the potion shop. But the bird did not stop. It slowly hobbled toward him.  
  
"Are you going to pay for that door?" the shopkeer asked. Not bothering to respond, Link ran for his life towards the castle just as the cucco flew into the shop, its mere existence disintegrating the building. It immediately calmed down and resumed pecking at the cobble streets of the market.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Princess Zelda! I have urgent news!" A soldier spoke with a worried tone as he rushed to deliver his message to the future queen.  
  
"Yes? What is it?"  
  
"There has been a disturbance outside. A very serious matter."  
  
"What happened? Is the kingdom in danger?"  
  
"Perhaps. An extremely overweight delivery man has fallen asleep in the courtyard, and my fellow knights are unable to remove him from the premises. We estimate his weight to be approximately 26 tons."  
  
"Oh dear….well, as long as he's not causing any direct harm. Anything else?"  
  
"Earlier today, a child in a green tunic was attacked by an enraged cucco. Scouts report he was followed by a pink…….thing."  
  
"A child wearing a green tunic….. Hmm…."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The perimeter of the castle was surrounded by guards. Link would have to sneak past them. But he didn't want to. Because that took too much work.  
  
"Kirby? Grab onto my back and hold on as tight as you can. I have an idea!"  
  
"Whoo! I like rides!" replied the little puffball excitedly. He then grabbed onto Link, as instructed.  
  
Unsheating his blade, he screamed like a sissy and ran off towards the castle, striking down each and every guard he came across. It's a shame he didn't realize the guards were merely cardboard figurines, and not actual people. But that didn't matter, anyway. For Link was concerned with the princess. After all, after he finished his little quest, he'd look really heroic in her eyes. And maybe he could get a date with her. Yeah. He was starting to be glad he took this job. Link merely prayed he wouldn't have to deal with anymore cuccos, as the last one had nearly killed him. And no cucco had ever come that close! 


	4. Talon the Hutt and Other Wacky Things

Chapter 4: Talon the Hutt and Other Wacky Things  
  
  
Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing. Zippo. Zilch. Nada. Nothing in this fanfic belongs to me. Except the names of the chapters. I hope. And thanks for reviewing, everyone ^_^  
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The castle courtyard was quite large. And there was a spooky moat. Well, not really spooky. But still. A castle with so many cardboard guards didn't need a moat. Hiking over to the side of the castle due to a strange feeling that there would be an entrance there, Link and Kirby stumbled upon an incredibly massive glob of fat with several large boxes near it. The fat pile wore garments, for some reason. Blue overalls. Why would fat need pants? What was there to cover? It had a beard, as well. Why? Who knows. Regardless, there was a hole in the wall behind the creature. How convenient. Upon further investigation, Link discovered that this enormous lipid was in fact a person! And then an odd scent reached Link's nose. Kirby smelled it too, as he was already poking the source. The crates.  
  
Sniffing the crates for a few seconds, Kirby was confused. And then ran away, hiding behind the fat globule. For once, he didn't want to chew on the object. And then it was Link's turn. Poking the crates with his index finger, he somehow deduced the contents to be milk, even though he had never seen, smelled, felt, or tasted milk before. Why? Because there was no milk in the Kokiri Forest. And everyone there had brittle bones, except for Link because while he slept, the Calcium Fairy secretly injected him with large amounts of calcium. Yeah. That was a waste of a pargraph.  
  
"Hi!" squealed a high-pitched voice. A red-haired girl, roughly Link's size, was running up to Link and Kirby.  
  
"I see you've met my dad" she said, pointing at the gelatinous blob that now seemed to seep into the pavement. Link could only nod.  
  
"I'm Malon. I could easily lift Talon and take him home with my superhuman strength, but I want you to wake him up. Ring this very loud alarm clock! I was supposed to give you a cucco, but all of the cuccos at the ranch disappeared mysteriously. Bye now." Malon chirped. She shoved the clock into Link's hands, and skipped off towards Lon Lon Ranch. We think. No one really knows where she goes off to. Deciding to wake The Blob, Link rang the alarm clock. At once, the lands shook with great intensity as Talon sat up. Trees fell. A house in Kakariko Village collapsed. The entrance to the Great Fairy's Cave on Death Mountain caved in on itself. Mido was still doubled over in pain from when Link punched him.  
  
The creature spoke through a deep, garbled voice. "Vni ohy uie?"  
Not knowing what Jabba the Hutt had just said, Link did the only thing he could.  
  
"Me. Friend. Friend. Link. I am Link. Me friend."  
  
The entity merely repeated its last question. "Vni ohy uie?". However, this time something was different. Small yellow letters with black outlining appeared in front of the creature. Link could now understand the creature, for the Goddesses had somehow blessed him with the ability to see subtitles! "Oh thank the Goddesses...I can read subtitles!"  
  
"A olk ogoar. Vni ohy uie?" the creature spoke. The subtitles read: "I ask again. Who are you?". Link's reply was simple, for he was a simple man. I think.  
  
"I am Link. I seek to enter the castle through the hole behind you." (A oc Link. A lyyk ti yrtyh tny moltsy tnhiegn tny nisy bynard uie.)  
  
"Zyhu vyss. A lnoss gi nicy riv. Bu tny vou, A'c Talon. Bye riv." (Very well. I shall go home now. By the way, I'm Talon. Bye now.) Upon saying that last line, Talon sprouted massive angelic wings (Think FF9's Alexander) and flew off towards Lon Lon Ranch.  
  
"Now we can go see the princess. Whoo!" Link shouted, excitedly.  
  
"Yay!" squealed Kirby. Though he didn't really care about the princess. He was just hungry again and hoped the princess would have food.  
  
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Ten minutes later, our heroes reached Zelda's courtyard. Sheesh. How many courtyards does this place have!? Anyways. The sneaking around portion of this was skipped. Why? Because no one really needs to hear about how Link ran around the umpteenth courtyard, avoiding cardboard cut-outs.  
  
........  
  
Curses. I just wrote about it.  
  
  
The massive, snow white wall of the castle loomed ahead. It was big. Real big. Not as big as Kirby's stomach, aka "The Abyss", but pretty big. At the base of the wall, glaring through what seemed to be a window, stood another fat guy. Clad in a red shirt and blue overalls, in addition to a red cap, the glutton was truly an astounding sight.   
  
"It's-a me, Mario! And you're-a on the wrong-a set!" the chubby man bellowed. He pointed to a large wooden door that had a rather large neon sign above it. "This Way To Zelda's Castle", read the sign. Slighly embarrassed, Link dragged Kirby through the door.  
  
Now that Link's on the right set, let's continue. The massive, snow white wall of the castle loomed ahead. It was big. Real big. Not as big as Kirby's stomach, aka "The Abyss", but pretty big. At the base of the wall, glaring through what seemed to be a window, stood Princess Zelda. Wearing a very expensive silk gown, and a pretty little cap bearing an image of the Triforce, Zelda was indeed beautiful. And now that he had found her, Link would at last know what the heck he's supposed to do. Or would he? *insert Twilight Zone theme music*  
  
Meanwhile, perched high up on the very top of the castle was a flock of cuccos. They eyed Link cautiously. "Is this the one who attacked you, #234?" asked one cucco, who was slightly larger than the others. Its feathers had a slightly silver tone to them.  
  
"Yes, #84. He is the one." #234 was nervous, remembering the incident at the marketplace.  
  
"Very well. Let's go fly around aimlessly for a while and then gang up on him when he leasts expect it. Let's go, my cucco brothers! And sister!" #84 shouted, as he flew off into the sky.  
  
And they flew off, to wander aimlessly for a while, and eventually beat up Link as revenge for his assault of #234.  
  
~*~End of Chapter 4~*~  
  
  
Well. It seems I've wasted all my fat jokes in this chapter. Now what am I gonna do with Rauru....I know it's quite a ways off, but I'd appreciate some ideas on how to handle him. Add some ideas in your reviews, if you'd like =). 


	5. Meeting With Destiny

Chapter 5: Meeting With Destiny  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, as usual. Now on with the craziness! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Grass and flowers covered the short walkway to the courtyard's end. Two small, yet seemingly useless streams ran on either side of it. And at the end, stood a girl roughly Link's age. She wore a white and pink dress, with a matching hat. The hat had an image of the Triforce embedded in it. The girl's back was facing Link, as she was staring through a window. Link anxiously ran towards her, the loud thuds of his sword banging against his shield not seeming to bother her at all. She seemed oblivious to the noise. Kirby stayed at the entrance to the yard, munching on the grass.  
  
"Hi there! My name's Link, and some big tree thingy told me to come here and see you." exclaimed our young Kokiri hero. This grabbed her attention. She slowly turned around, to face the boy who resembled a string bean.  
  
"Green clothes." she said, calmly. "You must be from the Kokiri forest. Do you have a fairy?"  
  
"Er.I.no. But I've got this thing instead." Link replied, pointing at Kirby, who had begun consuming bricks from the walls of the castle.  
  
"...good enough. You are without a doubt the one destined to save this land. I will tell you of my plight. But first, I want you to look at this."  
  
"Don't mind if I do!" shouted the young hero, as he began staring at certain.."possessions" of the girl.  
  
*SLAP*  
  
"Not THAT, you idiot!" she screamed. The girl then grabbed Link's face, and smushed it against the window she was looking through a few moments ago. "This!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
Peering through the glass, Link spotted a tall, dark man. The man was covered in brown and black armor, and wore long, leather boots. At least, they looked like leather. Short orangy-red hair topped his otherwise bald head. The face was bland and emotionless, but had one prominent feature. A foot-long nose sharper and more dangerous than Cloud Strife's pointy hair.  
  
"He must be the one the Deku Tree told me about." Link said to himself.  
  
"I sense a great evil from that man. Many dark and dreadful things have happened since he first arrived at the castle. And since that day, I have been unable to find some of my underwear.." The girl said. There was a great sadness in her voice. "Oh my! I still haven't introduced myself. I am Zelda, princess of Hyrule."  
  
"That's nice. Now could you tell me why I'm even here?" Link asked, slightly annoyed.  
  
"That man's name is Ganondorf Dragmire. He seeks the Triforce, an item of great power. But in order to gain access, he requires 4 keys. The Kokiri Emerald, which you already have, is one of them. The others are held by the Gorons of Death Mountain, and the Zoras of Zora Lake. I myself hold the final key. You must gather the remaining 2 before Ganondorf does. The path will be filled with danger and flesh-eating creatures, but you must hurry!"  
  
"So, lemme get this straight. You expect me to climb a mountain, into a cave, fight evil monsters, and nearly die? What do I get out of this?"  
  
The princess smiled, letting Link hear exactly what every kid his age wanted to hear. "If we survive this, I'll go out with you."  
  
"SWEET!"  
  
"It is too dangerous for you to leave the castle unattended. My caretaker, Impa, shall escort you and your..erm..friend, from the grounds. Please be careful."  
  
Turning around to get Kirby, Link found himself face to face with the tallest, manliest woman he had ever seen. Clad in armor and white hair, she looked like a dying old lady in the military. Perhaps she was?  
  
"I am Impa. Before we go, I will teach you a song that I used to sing for the Princess. Take out your Clay Thingamabob." said the woman. Link did as instructed. Impa then placed her right index and middle fingers in her mouth, and whistled a short tune which Link played on his Thingamabob, and magically memorized. He and Kirby were then magically transported out of the castle, and Impa and Zelda were nowhere to be seen. Now that they knew what to do, our heroes begin their relatively short trek to Death Mountain and the Gorons.  
  
~*~*End of Chapter 4*~*~ 


End file.
